Blurred Lines

Blurred lines are not just uncomfortable for me because I need a new prescription.  I need clarity and some type of order to feel safe and know that things are ok.  That I am on the right track and I am making progress.  This was not the case with my writing group yesterday during our work session.  We socialized, we laughed, we sang, we listened.  Yet, what I noticed in such a slow, subtle way, was that we were working!  The learning and discovery were in the background and we didn't have an outline or a graphic organizer or a plan that I could plainly see.  However, the work-got-done.  It's so funny how we can get to the same place by taking numerous paths.  The journey made me a bit nervous at first, because I remember silently panicking inside as the minutes ticked away.  It was good for me though.  This process echoes one of my life lessons that I am trying to embrace-let go! When you always try to control events that are out of your control, the only thing that ends up happening is that you go insane just a lil' bit more everyday.  This is also what happens to my brain as I sit in SI each day( see Jenny's blog for more insight on this!)  I get upset with myself because I have not changed the world yet after having these revolutionary ideas which are cooked up in my mind.  Yet, I am always hardest on myself.  I think I work best when I have some distance from the said subject and then an epiphany begins.  I am still waiting.  Thank you, Writing Group,  for teaching me lessons I don't even know I'm learning (sounds like a Jimmy Fallon thank you letter--I can hear the music in the background and I see myself writing this down in a melodramatic way)!